He hadn't come there that day with any plans but to see Evans again. Wanting to see how he's been, to apologize for pulling away during his time in trying to get his life back together after the ghost ship. There's many he hasn't seen or spoken to much since his transformation and while he knows he has many to see, above all of those comes Max.
Just hugging him there at the door had meant so much, been something he's missed more than he had realized until that moment. Not until he'd held him once more.
Even just holding his hand makes him smile, glad to be there.
Letting Max start the fire, he moves over to the bed and sprawls out on it, enjoying the comfort of the mattress, the way it molds to his body. He's so acutely aware of things like the texture of the covers and the tension of the bed and how it holds his body as he shifts into Max and presses close to him.
Staying quiet, listening to Max talk about what he's feeling and what all he's been coping with while Kyle has been learning to control himself and his hungers during this time of transition.
He smiles at that first reassurance. "You told me I love you," he teases, but he's still smiling. "But I get I'm not the love of your life but you love me. I've known Liz isn't. Sorry but I haven't."
He stops then, cupping Max's cheeks gently. "Okay, one? Never blame yourself for what this place makes you do. It's not a reflection on you, Max. All you can do is the best for you and your partners, because this place doesn't care. Don't think yourself a slut for this place. Hell, don't think yourself a slut for anything. This society is not ours, and fuck ours. Ours led me to hurting Alex, and us to both believe our first love had to be our last," he points out. It's something he'd thought about over the years before Duplicity.
He pauses though because that's a hard question but he doesn't want to lie to Max.
"I gave up being jealous months ago because deep down I've known that Elijah has been sleeping with others when I haven't. I don't know who. I don't ask details but beyond the month he forgot me and our relationship, I've seen comments made to him on the finder thing and that Grindr Instagram thing it set up. This world isn't ours, and love isn't what we've been told it is. I realized a couple of months ago that I had to accept that love is what it is between us and not think about what it is outside of our love and our relationship. Otherwise, in this place, I would go nuts."
Which he fears that Max might be doing.
Kyle shifts to rub his hand against Max's back. "If I could find you a way home, I would, Max. For you and Alex and Michael. For Liz and Margo and Seth. I really wish I could."
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Just hugging him there at the door had meant so much, been something he's missed more than he had realized until that moment. Not until he'd held him once more.
Even just holding his hand makes him smile, glad to be there.
Letting Max start the fire, he moves over to the bed and sprawls out on it, enjoying the comfort of the mattress, the way it molds to his body. He's so acutely aware of things like the texture of the covers and the tension of the bed and how it holds his body as he shifts into Max and presses close to him.
Staying quiet, listening to Max talk about what he's feeling and what all he's been coping with while Kyle has been learning to control himself and his hungers during this time of transition.
He smiles at that first reassurance. "You told me I love you," he teases, but he's still smiling. "But I get I'm not the love of your life but you love me. I've known Liz isn't. Sorry but I haven't."
He stops then, cupping Max's cheeks gently. "Okay, one? Never blame yourself for what this place makes you do. It's not a reflection on you, Max. All you can do is the best for you and your partners, because this place doesn't care. Don't think yourself a slut for this place. Hell, don't think yourself a slut for anything. This society is not ours, and fuck ours. Ours led me to hurting Alex, and us to both believe our first love had to be our last," he points out. It's something he'd thought about over the years before Duplicity.
He pauses though because that's a hard question but he doesn't want to lie to Max.
"I gave up being jealous months ago because deep down I've known that Elijah has been sleeping with others when I haven't. I don't know who. I don't ask details but beyond the month he forgot me and our relationship, I've seen comments made to him on the finder thing and that Grindr Instagram thing it set up. This world isn't ours, and love isn't what we've been told it is. I realized a couple of months ago that I had to accept that love is what it is between us and not think about what it is outside of our love and our relationship. Otherwise, in this place, I would go nuts."
Which he fears that Max might be doing.
Kyle shifts to rub his hand against Max's back. "If I could find you a way home, I would, Max. For you and Alex and Michael. For Liz and Margo and Seth. I really wish I could."