[ It's not the beach that floods Kyle's senses but so much after. The things he knew others saw in him and thought the worst of. Of him keeping Elijah when others said he was wrong to be with him. In giving up everything else to wrap himself up in what he thought he wanted... and nearly dying even before the veil was removed from his eyes and he saw the truth.

He remembers those days when his life was hungers and desires and while he had his humanity, he didn't think about it. About anything but himself and what he wanted. He wasn't encouraged in that now, and so he remembered why that otherness that could be him could never truly be who he is.

But he knows it is what he is.

He shakes his head though. ]

Not wrong. Just different. Kind of like those comas where I wake up with memories of things I've never done, never had, and yet they're as much a part of me as everything else. Mine and not at the same time.

I guess energy is the best way to put it. If I let myself slow down, like meditation or something? If I do that and clear my thoughts of everything else I'm doing and thinking about all the time?

It's like if I'm touching a really mild voltage, I guess. There's something there. It's not quite comfortable, and it's kind of exciting, but I can't put my finger on any of it.

I'm not even sure how to explain it now.

[ He pauses and then puts things together, though maybe putting them together wrong. ]

How does it feel for you since you came back? What's different? [ Another pause, another drink. ] Have you had that happen before here? Dying?