[Chris came to Kyle for help and, honestly, he's not sure if he's helping or not. He's answering his questions though and trying to be as open as he finds he can be. And maybe in offering that distraction, or somewhere in his answers, Chris will find the answer he's looking for.

All he knows is that he wants to be there for him if he can. They've been through so much together and that he even came to Kyle meant a lot to him.

He opens his mouth, not sure he's taken enough time to think about it before he says something else. ]

Is that really something you'd want to do? It would feel like asking a lot from you.

[ It was a double edged sword. Chris had seen the worst, had endured it, and could he ask him to risk seeing that again? To have to defend himself once more from Kyle? ]


The truth is, I haven't thought about it. Not since that period before Michael kicked my ass. Once I was back in my own mind and making my own choices? I've focused on the skills I needed to always keep my humanity intact. Honestly?

[ Maybe in saying this he's admitting more than he'd like... or even truly understands himself. ]

I haven't given myself much time for anything that isn't keeping my focus on my humanity. Including the time I spend with those I care about. It's been almost two years and while I embrace what I am in a lot of ways, it's not all that I am or could be. Because what if being all I am means being like him? Or worse, like I was.

Which is more than you should have to talk about if you don't want to. I do understand if you'd rather not.