I want to be around you and I don't want to lose you either. I'm not trying to be a pain in the ass either. I just feel...
like you, and nate and chris and everyone, that place got to me. i barely fed and was constantly afraid I was going to hurt those I care about and then afraid I would snap like happened before.
i just want to curl up with those i care about who are still here and just exist.
and yet those damn words keeping getting in my head. I know he was hurting to but I'm not sure he didn't mean them.
and knowing someone that's known me that long still thinks I'm a threat to those I love and care for is hard.
i'm trying to get past it. I really am. and maybe the way is to just dive in again. Two years of living like this and i've only felt this way once before.
no subject
I'm not trying to be a pain in the ass either. I just feel...
like you, and nate and chris and everyone, that place got to me.
i barely fed and was constantly afraid I was going to hurt those I care about
and then afraid I would snap like happened before.
i just want to curl up with those i care about who are still here and just exist.
and yet those damn words keeping getting in my head.
I know he was hurting to but I'm not sure he didn't mean them.
and knowing someone that's known me that long still thinks I'm a threat to those I love and care for is hard.
i'm trying to get past it. I really am.
and maybe the way is to just dive in again. Two years of living like this and i've only felt this way once before.