I'd like that. You're one of those I trust and feel secure with so I wouldn't worry about holding back, or thinking you are holding back.
And I know logically but... My kind of vampire never forgets anything. It's always there. Except for me? It's his thousand years plus my own memories. He opened himself up to them and they became as much a part of me as vampirism is. I'm working on getting rid of them because I do worry they influence me and I want to be me. Not whoever, whatever it was he wanted me to be or what he wanted in doing that.
Literally what happened. I blame myself though I know most say I shouldn't. I should have seen it. I consider myself a smart man but I let him blindside me.
I want to be free of him. I never want to forget but I want to know all my choices and desires are based on me... and I want to explore the desires I have. Pain. Pleasure. Blood. All of it.
no subject
And I know logically but... My kind of vampire never forgets anything. It's always there. Except for me? It's his thousand years plus my own memories. He opened himself up to them and they became as much a part of me as vampirism is. I'm working on getting rid of them because I do worry they influence me and I want to be me. Not whoever, whatever it was he wanted me to be or what he wanted in doing that.
Literally what happened. I blame myself though I know most say I shouldn't. I should have seen it. I consider myself a smart man but I let him blindside me.
I want to be free of him. I never want to forget but I want to know all my choices and desires are based on me... and I want to explore the desires I have. Pain. Pleasure. Blood. All of it.