[ Kyle knows it's always been easy to talk about it all because he distances himself from it. Just as he would with a patient to be able to continue treating them without breaking down. To be able to handle his life without breaking down over what he's been through and how traumatic it actually was. From aliens to murder attempts to deaths to vampirism.
Kyle smiles a little at that, but it's self deprecating. As much so as his words. ]
Be thankful you know me now and not then. I defended his actions for the better part of a year. Put all the blame on myself, on the choices I made and the ones I didn't. Took me a long time to realize that opening me up to a thousand years of horrific memories an hour after we met, after he had fed from me, was likely carefully thought out. It did just what it was intended to in overpowering me about anything else but him. I was always so careful around him to make sure he wasn't hurt, but I never thought about how hurt I was.
[ He huffs out a breath. ]
Taking about it like this is really coming a long way. I don't think I could have if Grayson hadn't done all he did for me in removing those memories.
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Kyle smiles a little at that, but it's self deprecating. As much so as his words. ]
Be thankful you know me now and not then. I defended his actions for the better part of a year. Put all the blame on myself, on the choices I made and the ones I didn't. Took me a long time to realize that opening me up to a thousand years of horrific memories an hour after we met, after he had fed from me, was likely carefully thought out. It did just what it was intended to in overpowering me about anything else but him. I was always so careful around him to make sure he wasn't hurt, but I never thought about how hurt I was.
[ He huffs out a breath. ]
Taking about it like this is really coming a long way. I don't think I could have if Grayson hadn't done all he did for me in removing those memories.