[It both feels good that Chris can see it and talk about it like this, and also suck so much because others can see it and Kyle never did. Not until it was too late and then he was clawing his way up and out. ]
You're right. It's how he did it. He loved me in that instant, he had waited a thousand years for me, and he needed me to know who he was so I could love him too.
I had Ragnor break the emotional bond I have with them, and it's helped a lot. I've recently had an offer to help remove them and I hesitated, because of the idea of someone messing with my head but I think I'm going to take them up on it.
Thank you though. No one has put it so bluntly or seen it as clearly and it really helps. I need to hear that from someone. Especially from you.
Someday you're going to have to let me be there as much for you as you are for me, Chris.
I completely understand your hesitation with going through with having someone's hand in your head. I've been there and it's not something I easily abide by, but if you have any trust for this person, I'd take their offer. If you're not sure, take someone you trust to go with you and keep eye on the process.
I'll always be happy to call bullshit, especially for those I care for. Maybe I'm too sensitive to that sort of behavior, but I keep an eye out for it often.
[The last part he pauses on, fingers hovering over the letters.]
Someday. I'm just not good at letting people do that, even if I trust them to. You should get some sleep, handsome.
Yeah, nope. Don't wanna. Not even if he shows up here again.
[ It's a bad joke but he can't help himself. ]
How sad is it that I'm less worried about letting someone else in my head than I am keeping my sire there? It's such horrific things, and it just reminds me of what I could be. I want to remember who I am, and that's why I'll never let that happened before happen again. Not because I'm afraid of what I'm capable of.
Just don't ever forget I'm here for you, because I want to be.
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no subject
You're right. It's how he did it. He loved me in that instant, he had waited a thousand years for me, and he needed me to know who he was so I could love him too.
I had Ragnor break the emotional bond I have with them, and it's helped a lot. I've recently had an offer to help remove them and I hesitated, because of the idea of someone messing with my head but I think I'm going to take them up on it.
Thank you though. No one has put it so bluntly or seen it as clearly and it really helps. I need to hear that from someone. Especially from you.
Someday you're going to have to let me be there as much for you as you are for me, Chris.
no subject
I completely understand your hesitation with going through with having someone's hand in your head. I've been there and it's not something I easily abide by, but if you have any trust for this person, I'd take their offer. If you're not sure, take someone you trust to go with you and keep eye on the process.
I'll always be happy to call bullshit, especially for those I care for. Maybe I'm too sensitive to that sort of behavior, but I keep an eye out for it often.
[The last part he pauses on, fingers hovering over the letters.]
Someday. I'm just not good at letting people do that, even if I trust them to.
You should get some sleep, handsome.
no subject
[ It's a bad joke but he can't help himself. ]
How sad is it that I'm less worried about letting someone else in my head than I am keeping my sire there? It's such horrific things, and it just reminds me of what I could be. I want to remember who I am, and that's why I'll never let that happened before happen again. Not because I'm afraid of what I'm capable of.
Just don't ever forget I'm here for you, because I want to be.
I'll try. I'll see you soon.