Kyle may not know everything Billy's talking about but he knows that look and it breaks his heart. He wants to assure him that everything is fine, and that it's okay and that he remembers everything. Something. Anything.
Yet he doesn't. He remembers nothing and he doesn't know what to say.
Because he's not sure its okay.
But this attractive young man kissed him and said they were "friends" and he realizes letting it go is not acceptable. He doesn't want to ignore this, whatever it is.
"Don't make me forget more."
He says it suddenly, eyes wide and panicked.
"I..." He glances around. He doesn't think anyone has seen them, no one outside but that could change any minute. "We should go somewhere else," he says softly. "It can be somewhere public. Just so we can talk about this. I..." Did he want to know? Did he want to remember? Should he? Kyle isn't sure about the last but he knows the rest. He wants to know.
"If not, we can just sit in my truck. I want to know what you're talking about." He wants to know what that longing he feels means. The longing since the dreams started.
"I won't!" Billy raises his hands in a sort of "I come in peace" gesture. "I promise. I wouldn't unless you wanted me to! I want to, you know, help. Not make stuff worse."
He nods quickly. "We can go somewhere. Or just your truck. I trust you. But you don't know me so if you want to just do the truck and not go-go anywhere else, that's fine!" Billy chewed at his lip thoughtfully. "I can uhh, tell you a little bit and then you can decide if you want to know more? or if you just want to decide I'm a crazy person?"
It was a lot, having someone come out of no where and know stuff about you that you didn't even know about yourself. Which Billy kind of gets - it's sort of what Nathaniel did to them, once upon a time. But he thinks the Kyle he knows would rather KNOW than not. He doesn't think it can be that different here, right?
Even as he says it, he realizes he believes it. He does trust him, and he trusts why he's here. Because it feels right to trust him, even if Kyle isn't sure why.
"I just don't think, for some reason, we want anyone hearing this talk." And he's not sure why but it feels like it's right up there with the pod squad and keeping their secrets. Except this one is his own.
"I... I don't think you're crazy," he says, realizing he believes that as well. "For the first time in weeks I don't feel like I'm forgetting to do something."
Or, he now suspects, that he's forgetting something not to do something.
"Come on. Over here," he says, gesturing for the truck. Only after he's in the driver's seat, and Billy is settled, does he says something he can't hold back.
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Yet he doesn't. He remembers nothing and he doesn't know what to say.
Because he's not sure its okay.
But this attractive young man kissed him and said they were "friends" and he realizes letting it go is not acceptable. He doesn't want to ignore this, whatever it is.
"Don't make me forget more."
He says it suddenly, eyes wide and panicked.
"I..." He glances around. He doesn't think anyone has seen them, no one outside but that could change any minute. "We should go somewhere else," he says softly. "It can be somewhere public. Just so we can talk about this. I..." Did he want to know? Did he want to remember? Should he? Kyle isn't sure about the last but he knows the rest. He wants to know.
"If not, we can just sit in my truck. I want to know what you're talking about." He wants to know what that longing he feels means. The longing since the dreams started.
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He nods quickly. "We can go somewhere. Or just your truck. I trust you. But you don't know me so if you want to just do the truck and not go-go anywhere else, that's fine!" Billy chewed at his lip thoughtfully. "I can uhh, tell you a little bit and then you can decide if you want to know more? or if you just want to decide I'm a crazy person?"
It was a lot, having someone come out of no where and know stuff about you that you didn't even know about yourself. Which Billy kind of gets - it's sort of what Nathaniel did to them, once upon a time. But he thinks the Kyle he knows would rather KNOW than not. He doesn't think it can be that different here, right?
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Even as he says it, he realizes he believes it. He does trust him, and he trusts why he's here. Because it feels right to trust him, even if Kyle isn't sure why.
"I just don't think, for some reason, we want anyone hearing this talk." And he's not sure why but it feels like it's right up there with the pod squad and keeping their secrets. Except this one is his own.
"I... I don't think you're crazy," he says, realizing he believes that as well. "For the first time in weeks I don't feel like I'm forgetting to do something."
Or, he now suspects, that he's forgetting something not to do something.
"Come on. Over here," he says, gesturing for the truck. Only after he's in the driver's seat, and Billy is settled, does he says something he can't hold back.
"You kissed me."