( he knows he's being a coward. he knows he's being stupid and reactive and he's pretty sure that he's going to regret this the moment he goes through with it. but there's a nagging voice in the back of his head that says get out, get out, get out and he can't ignore it. not when there's the paperwork literally sat in front of him.
a week ago he would have signed it. now, nick can't even look at it.
they've barely crossed paths all week and that's the worst part, because nick knows it's because of what nick said, but the awful nasty part of him that needs to escape twists that too, until it's hard to see it as anything other than a rejection of it's own. kyle has never pushed nick into anything he didn't want to do, never made him feel uncomfortable, or try to press an issue nick didn't want to engage with, and it makes perfect sense that he would be exactly the same way with this.
but the lonely hours of the middle of the night spent alone in his own bed easily twist it into something its not, until all he can think about is that it's for the best of everyone if he goes. the bedroom door has been magically locked for two days to stop anyone besides nick from coming in or out, so that no one would know when he started packing.
he could leave without saying anything. kyle would probably let him. maybe that would be better than whatever this is, but it still feels cruel. so he does something only slightly better, and sends him a text. )
so i think i'm probably going to go. i'll take chester with me but cullen likes the sun too much so if you don't mind i think he should stay. i really appreciate you letting me stay here for a bit, it's been fun.
( even after he hits send, there's the icon that indicates nick is still typing for a very long time after, until eventually it disappears. )
text | evening of the 26th
a week ago he would have signed it. now, nick can't even look at it.
they've barely crossed paths all week and that's the worst part, because nick knows it's because of what nick said, but the awful nasty part of him that needs to escape twists that too, until it's hard to see it as anything other than a rejection of it's own. kyle has never pushed nick into anything he didn't want to do, never made him feel uncomfortable, or try to press an issue nick didn't want to engage with, and it makes perfect sense that he would be exactly the same way with this.
but the lonely hours of the middle of the night spent alone in his own bed easily twist it into something its not, until all he can think about is that it's for the best of everyone if he goes. the bedroom door has been magically locked for two days to stop anyone besides nick from coming in or out, so that no one would know when he started packing.
he could leave without saying anything. kyle would probably let him. maybe that would be better than whatever this is, but it still feels cruel. so he does something only slightly better, and sends him a text. )
so i think i'm probably going to go. i'll take chester with me but cullen likes the sun too much so if you don't mind i think he should stay.
i really appreciate you letting me stay here for a bit, it's been fun.
( even after he hits send, there's the icon that indicates nick is still typing for a very long time after, until eventually it disappears. )