I'm holding you to that. Do you really want me stalking you, standing all forlorn in the shadows? Do not make me Edward Cullen ;)
I don't doubt it, Michael. If there is one thing I know, he loves me. Not sure he's always okay with that but I know he does.
You know me too well to think I'll give up on him or anyone I love.
[ The three dots linger there a while and then he deletes what he's written.
He can't complain about his feelings and then say they're all on him. Especially not to bother Michael with them. He's dealing with enough of the fall out of these things. ]
I just have to accept my place in his life and stop expecting more. That's on me, not him.
It's not a bad thing, Michael. It's not me... moping after someone for ten years or being stupid about an abuser.
This is me just wanting to do the right things for those I love. It really is. That's all. I'm just trying to do the right thing for him but that doesn't mean its easy either.
Yeah, but you've decided this changes things. That it changes your relationship with him, that he thinks differently about you than you thought he did.
I need to try again about why that's an answer but how much I worry about him isn't. I think we can work this out. I really do. I just keep thinking that's enough but not always sure how.
If something's hurting me, I go to Alex. It wasn't
always like that, but it has been for a while. He's the first person I
think of.
Back when I didn't go to him? It was because our
relationship wasn't good. There was too much that was hard between us, so
he wasn't my confidante. You were, or Maria was.
I think you need to work out with him why he's
coming to others and not you. If there's something blocking him maybe
that's what you need to deal with.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Do you really want me stalking you, standing all forlorn in the shadows?
Do not make me Edward Cullen ;)
I don't doubt it, Michael. If there is one thing I know, he loves me.
Not sure he's always okay with that but I know he does.
You know me too well to think I'll give up on him or anyone I love.
[ The three dots linger there a while and then he deletes what he's written.
He can't complain about his feelings and then say they're all on him. Especially not to bother Michael with them. He's dealing with enough of the fall out of these things. ]
I just have to accept my place in his life and stop expecting more. That's on me, not him.
no subject
Come on, what does that mean?
no subject
This is me just wanting to do the right things for those I love. It really is. That's all. I'm just trying to do the right thing for him but that doesn't mean its easy either.
no subject
Is that what he said? That he thinks differently?
no subject
I love him. I can't see that changing. He loves me and I truly believe he does. That's all that should matter.
It just hurts, okay? It hurts that when he's in trouble, he will turn to others but not me. And I need to get over being hurt by it.
no subject
Have you said THAT to him?
no subject
I need to try again about why that's an answer but how much I worry about him isn't. I think we can work this out. I really do. I just keep thinking that's enough but not always sure how.
no subject
If something's hurting me, I go to Alex. It wasn't always like that, but it has been for a while. He's the first person I think of.
Back when I didn't go to him? It was because our relationship wasn't good. There was too much that was hard between us, so he wasn't my confidante. You were, or Maria was.
I think you need to work out with him why he's coming to others and not you. If there's something blocking him maybe that's what you need to deal with.