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[angrycowboy]

Kyle.

Come on, what does that mean?

[drmcsexy]

It's not a bad thing, Michael. It's not me... moping after someone for ten years or being stupid about an abuser.

This is me just wanting to do the right things for those I love. It really is. That's all. I'm just trying to do the right thing for him but that doesn't mean its easy either.

[angrycowboy]

Yeah, but you've decided this changes things. That it changes your relationship with him, that he thinks differently about you than you thought he did.

Is that what he said? That he thinks differently?

[drmcsexy]

He hasn't really said. I've asked but he hasn't said. Just glad that I still loved him and want to be with him.

I love him. I can't see that changing. He loves me and I truly believe he does. That's all that should matter.

It just hurts, okay? It hurts that when he's in trouble, he will turn to others but not me. And I need to get over being hurt by it.

[angrycowboy]

I know.

Have you said THAT to him?

[drmcsexy]

U tried once and he said he worried about me.

I need to try again about why that's an answer but how much I worry about him isn't. I think we can work this out. I really do. I just keep thinking that's enough but not always sure how.

[angrycowboy]

If something's hurting me, I go to Alex. It wasn't always like that, but it has been for a while. He's the first person I think of.

Back when I didn't go to him? It was because our relationship wasn't good. There was too much that was hard between us, so he wasn't my confidante. You were, or Maria was.

I think you need to work out with him why he's coming to others and not you. If there's something blocking him maybe that's what you need to deal with.