I'm sorry. You know if I could do that for you, I would offer.
[ Of course if he could do that, he wouldn't be turning to Ragnor to get rid of the emotional connection to Elijah's memories. ]
You know there are those that can help with that, if it's what you want.
[ Though in this place, how often could he end up having to do it? It's a sick and scary though, and he hates Nick has to be here for this. Even if he would miss him for as long as he gets to live if he left.
Kyle doesn't take anything. He lets Nick lead things with his touch, his kisses. Following that lead as he slides one hand along his back, trying to sooth him, offering what comfort he can. ]
I'm here, Nick. As long as you need. Whatever you need. You wanna move somewhere? Sit down? Or we can just stay here.
( the thing is, nick hates memory magic. hates the idea of someone being in his head at all, actually, but fiddling around with memories, changing things, it makes his skin crawl. and yet, the offer sounds...incredibly appealing.
he still shakes his head, but the thought is tucked away in the back of his mind for now. instead he takes a step back, catching hold of kyle's hand and holding on tight. )
Come lie down. ( it's not phrased as a question but it is one, nick holding kyle's gaze with a very carefully neutral expression. because he'd really been on the verge of admitting— something to himself, and if this whole situation has shattered that, nick really doesn't know what he'll do.
the city can have everything else, he doesn't care. it can't have this. not before nick even knows what this could be. ) Just lying down. Just for a bit.
[ That singular touch is like a lifeline. Clinging to Nick's hand, terrified he'll lose him because of this and so thankful when he asks that of him.
Following him to the bed, staying close to him. ]
Of course. I'm ready to stay right here with you for as long as you'll let me.
[ He knows he's being needy, and he's not hiding how much he cares about Nick even if he's not going to put it in words. He knows enough to realize that would be a bad idea, especially right now. ]
( nick climbs into the bed, shifts to one side to make space for kyle, and holds his breath. really does it, too, because as much as he wants everything to be the same, he really can't predict how things will change.
but he doesn't tense, and he doesn't panic, and it's honestly such a relief that nick has to turn his face into the pillow and let out that long held sigh. )
Tell me something about you. Something that's not sad.
( he won't tolerate it forever, nick knows too much about himself to believe that, but for now he just wants to worm his way into kyle's arms and stay there. for as long as he can manage. )
[ Kyle may not know what was on that video, but pieces and horrible thoughts are coming to him and so he's being as careful as he can be as he follows Nick and slides up onto the bed.
Moving slowly to curl up on the bed next to him. Not pressing in too close, leaving space but laying so that if Nick wants to, he can move in closer to him as he slides his arm over his waist.
Not sad things. That does make it hard, because so many good things in his life also makes him think about horrible things as well. ]
I went to school at University of Michigan. I was on a football scholarship as a quarterback. And my first season, I screwed up my knee.
Which is not sad. [ He rushes to add that. ] Because I switched to medicine and realized how much I love being a doctor. I like being able to help people.
( it's made that much easier because kyle is letting him move at his own pace. he just doesn't know so much right now, he doesn't know how he's going to react to anything, and every time kyle touches him and he doesn't flinch is another win. so he'll keep taking them.
nick shifts in until he's right by kyle's side, leaning his head near kyle's shoulder and splaying a hand out over his chest. his knee knocks against kyle's, and he stretches out a foot to hook around the other's ankle, until there's points of contact littered all over them, and nick feels all the better for it. )
You were good with that stethoscope, ( nick murmurs in response, smiling faintly and resting his palm over the approximate spot where he assumes kyle's heart must be. remembering when the worst thing they had to deal with in this house was a little accidental poisoning. ) You can tell, you know. When you talk about it, like...it's what you're supposed to be doing. It's nice.
[ Everything about Kyle is devoted to Nick right now. Offering him all he can and to do everything he can for him. Trying to stay calm, to move slowly. He has no idea what could be triggers, what touches might spark memories for Nick and ruin things between them. It's a horrific tension, but one he's going to deal with as long as he needs to for Nick's sake.
They're lay there, facing one another, touching here and there and it feels right. They're together, and Kyle is there for him, and that is what matters. ]
It's all I wanted to do. To help others. Which I know sounds cheesy and corny, but it's what I've tried to do.
[ Right up until he gave up all of who he was for another. Now all he can try and do is fix those things. ]
I gave up on the family career. My dad was the sheriff and then my mom was sheriff.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[ Of course if he could do that, he wouldn't be turning to Ragnor to get rid of the emotional connection to Elijah's memories. ]
You know there are those that can help with that, if it's what you want.
[ Though in this place, how often could he end up having to do it? It's a sick and scary though, and he hates Nick has to be here for this. Even if he would miss him for as long as he gets to live if he left.
Kyle doesn't take anything. He lets Nick lead things with his touch, his kisses. Following that lead as he slides one hand along his back, trying to sooth him, offering what comfort he can. ]
I'm here, Nick. As long as you need. Whatever you need. You wanna move somewhere? Sit down? Or we can just stay here.
no subject
he still shakes his head, but the thought is tucked away in the back of his mind for now. instead he takes a step back, catching hold of kyle's hand and holding on tight. )
Come lie down. ( it's not phrased as a question but it is one, nick holding kyle's gaze with a very carefully neutral expression. because he'd really been on the verge of admitting— something to himself, and if this whole situation has shattered that, nick really doesn't know what he'll do.
the city can have everything else, he doesn't care. it can't have this. not before nick even knows what this could be. ) Just lying down. Just for a bit.
no subject
Following him to the bed, staying close to him. ]
Of course. I'm ready to stay right here with you for as long as you'll let me.
[ He knows he's being needy, and he's not hiding how much he cares about Nick even if he's not going to put it in words. He knows enough to realize that would be a bad idea, especially right now. ]
no subject
but he doesn't tense, and he doesn't panic, and it's honestly such a relief that nick has to turn his face into the pillow and let out that long held sigh. )
Tell me something about you. Something that's not sad.
( he won't tolerate it forever, nick knows too much about himself to believe that, but for now he just wants to worm his way into kyle's arms and stay there. for as long as he can manage. )
no subject
Moving slowly to curl up on the bed next to him. Not pressing in too close, leaving space but laying so that if Nick wants to, he can move in closer to him as he slides his arm over his waist.
Not sad things. That does make it hard, because so many good things in his life also makes him think about horrible things as well. ]
I went to school at University of Michigan. I was on a football scholarship as a quarterback. And my first season, I screwed up my knee.
Which is not sad. [ He rushes to add that. ] Because I switched to medicine and realized how much I love being a doctor. I like being able to help people.
no subject
nick shifts in until he's right by kyle's side, leaning his head near kyle's shoulder and splaying a hand out over his chest. his knee knocks against kyle's, and he stretches out a foot to hook around the other's ankle, until there's points of contact littered all over them, and nick feels all the better for it. )
You were good with that stethoscope, ( nick murmurs in response, smiling faintly and resting his palm over the approximate spot where he assumes kyle's heart must be. remembering when the worst thing they had to deal with in this house was a little accidental poisoning. ) You can tell, you know. When you talk about it, like...it's what you're supposed to be doing. It's nice.
no subject
They're lay there, facing one another, touching here and there and it feels right. They're together, and Kyle is there for him, and that is what matters. ]
It's all I wanted to do. To help others. Which I know sounds cheesy and corny, but it's what I've tried to do.
[ Right up until he gave up all of who he was for another. Now all he can try and do is fix those things. ]
I gave up on the family career. My dad was the sheriff and then my mom was sheriff.