i keep telling myself i know reasons you could't trust me. i get what you were trying to do for the sake of another. i know we both have our own lives here.
this is the things i keep telling myself Nick. im trying to understand and accept things.
it just hurts you didn't feel you could trust me. and i guess that's on me to deal with.
[ He's been going over this in his head over and over as he learned he was the last to know, how bad things were, and in the end nothing he could do. ]
it wasn't you, it was everyone. i know thats not i know that doesn't change the fact that i didn't tell you, but it wasn't about trust, and it wasn't anything about you i didn't tell anyone
let me tell you this. on this side of things? it doesn't feel that way. not when i thought you were dead. or would have if others couldn't pick up your magical signature.
not when its made me realize how much i've let you down how bad of a dominant i am and must be? and i don't mean legally, nick but our other agreement.
and i keep telling myself this isn't about how i feel but what you've been through so i know i just need to get over it. i know that.
Do you know how hard it is for me to focus on that though when you have been through so much? When best I can tell its not over? I'm scared for you, Nick. I'm scared for Oliver. I want to tell you stay away from him but I don't see the point in setting you up to lie to me and hide more things.
I want to protect you, to feel like I'm doing something for you.
Right now I don't feel like I'm capable of any of that and it's hard to cope with.
That its hurting you should matter too. If not for you then for me and Oliver and Michael and Ragnor and I can keep going, you know, but we all care a lot if you're hurt.
But I'm glad you've made that decision.
And whether something happens or not, that is not your fault. It's his. What can we do for Oliver?
I know you didn't want to, Nick. Trust me, after all this time, I know that isn't you. At all. But I'm scared and I'm worried and I'm not sure what to do except try and protect you the best I can.
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Do you want to?
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i didn't want everything to get this messed up
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even if thats hard for both of us
I know you didnt want it to get messed up. Yoy were trying to help someone you care about. I do get that
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hearing about it
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i'll tell you whatever you want
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i keep telling myself i know reasons you could't trust me.
i get what you were trying to do for the sake of another.
i know we both have our own lives here.
this is the things i keep telling myself Nick.
im trying to understand and accept things.
it just hurts you didn't feel you could trust me.
and i guess that's on me to deal with.
[ He's been going over this in his head over and over as he learned he was the last to know, how bad things were, and in the end nothing he could do. ]
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i know that doesn't change the fact that i didn't tell you, but it wasn't about trust, and it wasn't anything about you
i didn't tell anyone
it was safer that way
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yeah, i think so.
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it doesn't feel that way.
not when i thought you were dead. or would have if others couldn't pick up your magical signature.
not when its made me realize how much i've let you down
how bad of a dominant i am and must be? and i don't mean legally, nick but our other agreement.
and i keep telling myself this isn't about how i feel but what you've been through so
i know i just need to get over it. i know that.
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this right now, this conversation? this isnt about me, or what ive been through, it's about how you feel.
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Do you know how hard it is for me to focus on that though when you have been through so much? When best I can tell its not over?
I'm scared for you, Nick. I'm scared for Oliver.
I want to tell you stay away from him but I don't see the point in setting you up to lie to me and hide more things.
I want to protect you, to feel like I'm doing something for you.
Right now I don't feel like I'm capable of any of that and it's hard to cope with.
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its. you know. its hurting people, not just me, so i'm going to.
i'm just like. i'm so scared something's going to happen if i do stay away from him. but i am, now.
i'm sorry. i really am, i didn't want to hurt anyone. that's like the opposite of what i was trying to do.
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But I'm glad you've made that decision.
And whether something happens or not, that is not your fault. It's his.
What can we do for Oliver?
I know you didn't want to, Nick. Trust me, after all this time, I know that isn't you. At all. But I'm scared and I'm worried and I'm not sure what to do except try and protect you the best I can.