[ He considers that a moment. He isn't sure who is out with others and who isn't but he wants to be careful. ]
There was one here once I wish had stayed. Rafa had kind of stepped in to help. I'm glad for the time we did have. Most of those here I wouldn't look to that way. I adore Diva as a friend and kind of a little sister, but we aren't even of the same mindset.
There's a couple though who have been doing this for a while and who I think I can look to and ask advice from. I don't think either is in a position to want to be a mentor though, but we'll see. Things could grow from a friendship.
[ Wolf and Grayson might help with that and he knows they might as well.
He steps in as Chris moves back, not wanting him to drift away like that. ]
You're right though. I should see. Just so that I know. Please, don't think I'm denying what you're saying, and I'm trying not to live in fear.
Chris, I always want to hear your opinion on things. Because you are my friend and I trust you. If you want to help, I would appreciate it. I know you won't let me hurt you.
[Both Wolf and Grayson run through his mind as well. Wolf would likely take it on because he was kind and would see it as a chance to make sure no one got hurt, including Kyle. Grayson...Chris had his opinions on the man, but they'd reached a truce and some basic understanding. If he saw something in it for him, maybe? Even just curiosity might be enough and he might be more willing to push Kyle the way he needed...but it was all Kyle's choice.
He steps in as Chris tries to move back and there's a flicker of surprise, but he doesn't move back again.]
I do want to help. Just don't want to seem I'm pushing you to something you don't truly want...and perhaps selfishly a bit fearful you'll resent the suggestion if it turns sour?
[He doesn't mean for it to sound like a question, to let his doubt slip in, but he covers it with a smile. Just a silly little thing and not a glimpse of insecurity in his own thought process that he hadn't meant to show.]
Sorry. I'm not meaning to seem to be coming after you. I just don't want you feeling like you have to move away during this talk. Okay?
[ Maybe he fears it's from concern, or that he thinks Kyle is ignoring his suggestion.
And he knows he's not, but he also knows he's skittish as hell about older vampires though he's trying to get over it. All because of the one that had nearly destroyed him in a lot of ways. ]
It doesn't feel like you're pushing me. You're not wrong in any of it, and it's something I've thought about. I just get nervous about someone in that position with me because of what happened before. But I have to try.
But no matter what happens if I try? That has nothing to do with you and me, okay? You're looking out for me and that matters a lot to me. It isn't as if I haven't thought about this as well. Just really cautious.
[His fingers come up to brush along Kyle's chest.]
You've right to be nervous...and if anyone you chose to approach does hurt you or try, you can tell me. I think I'm uniquely abilitied to help you tear them apart for it.
[Or potentially break a compulsion if he found another vampire who could do that to him...but he doesn't even want to put that into the air for possibility.]
You can certainly take care of yourself, but I'd be a liar if I said I wasn't perhaps a little protective of you.
We both know my history hasn't proven to go well for me with others of my kind but I am curious to talk to those I know about helping them. I don't know any vampires here who are younger than me. [ Not yet. ] So there's a good chance one of them might be able to help me. And want to
[ Which means that, perhaps, it wouldn't be intended to hurt him. He can help. ]
But if anyone becomes a threat, trust me. You're one of those I would turn to.
[ That makes him smile then. ]
I think I'm okay with you being protective of me. And one of these days? You'll come to me like this and I'll be able to help you as much as you seem to be able to help me nearly every time we talk.
[He doesn't want to mention Grayson, mostly because he's positive the vampire wouldn't appreciate being outed like that if he wasn't already, and Chris can't be sure if he would even be interested in a mentor role...but if he wasn't, he could also see the problem-solving and puzzle aspect that might appeal to the man. The fact Kyle was a different sort of vampire from himself might be enough to draw his attention.
He keeps it to himself, Kyle should make that decision without unasked for outside input.
For now, he gives a slightly weaker smile, but tries to muster it for Kyle's benefit.]
I'm sure you will. [That was part of why he'd come here today, but...this wasn't something anyone could help with, he was starting to see that now. It wasn't fair to ask.]
Either way, I'm glad I can help you. Might as well offer what wisdom I've got. Between that and killer blowjobs, I've skill enough to handle most things.
[He's mostly joking. Those were probably his two most redeeming qualities. For now, he turns back to the bottle to pour himself just another swallow more.]
[ Trusting another vampire is hard. Kyle knows he never would trust one that came from his sire's world, no matter if they were close to that family or not, but he has to come to trust others.
Certainly Diva isn't one who could help him, friend that he is, but he's finding there's others he could truly turn to. Wolf and Grayson topping that list and he's actually kind of excited about the chance to get to know himself especially. ]
I think you have a lot to offer Chris, and I'm glad you're in this helping me with so much. It means a lot to me. Thank you.
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There was one here once I wish had stayed. Rafa had kind of stepped in to help. I'm glad for the time we did have. Most of those here I wouldn't look to that way. I adore Diva as a friend and kind of a little sister, but we aren't even of the same mindset.
There's a couple though who have been doing this for a while and who I think I can look to and ask advice from. I don't think either is in a position to want to be a mentor though, but we'll see. Things could grow from a friendship.
[ Wolf and Grayson might help with that and he knows they might as well.
He steps in as Chris moves back, not wanting him to drift away like that. ]
You're right though. I should see. Just so that I know. Please, don't think I'm denying what you're saying, and I'm trying not to live in fear.
Chris, I always want to hear your opinion on things. Because you are my friend and I trust you. If you want to help, I would appreciate it. I know you won't let me hurt you.
no subject
He steps in as Chris tries to move back and there's a flicker of surprise, but he doesn't move back again.]
I do want to help. Just don't want to seem I'm pushing you to something you don't truly want...and perhaps selfishly a bit fearful you'll resent the suggestion if it turns sour?
[He doesn't mean for it to sound like a question, to let his doubt slip in, but he covers it with a smile. Just a silly little thing and not a glimpse of insecurity in his own thought process that he hadn't meant to show.]
no subject
[ Maybe he fears it's from concern, or that he thinks Kyle is ignoring his suggestion.
And he knows he's not, but he also knows he's skittish as hell about older vampires though he's trying to get over it. All because of the one that had nearly destroyed him in a lot of ways. ]
It doesn't feel like you're pushing me. You're not wrong in any of it, and it's something I've thought about. I just get nervous about someone in that position with me because of what happened before. But I have to try.
But no matter what happens if I try? That has nothing to do with you and me, okay? You're looking out for me and that matters a lot to me. It isn't as if I haven't thought about this as well. Just really cautious.
no subject
You've right to be nervous...and if anyone you chose to approach does hurt you or try, you can tell me. I think I'm uniquely abilitied to help you tear them apart for it.
[Or potentially break a compulsion if he found another vampire who could do that to him...but he doesn't even want to put that into the air for possibility.]
You can certainly take care of yourself, but I'd be a liar if I said I wasn't perhaps a little protective of you.
no subject
[ Which means that, perhaps, it wouldn't be intended to hurt him. He can help. ]
But if anyone becomes a threat, trust me. You're one of those I would turn to.
[ That makes him smile then. ]
I think I'm okay with you being protective of me. And one of these days? You'll come to me like this and I'll be able to help you as much as you seem to be able to help me nearly every time we talk.
no subject
He keeps it to himself, Kyle should make that decision without unasked for outside input.
For now, he gives a slightly weaker smile, but tries to muster it for Kyle's benefit.]
I'm sure you will. [That was part of why he'd come here today, but...this wasn't something anyone could help with, he was starting to see that now. It wasn't fair to ask.]
Either way, I'm glad I can help you. Might as well offer what wisdom I've got. Between that and killer blowjobs, I've skill enough to handle most things.
[He's mostly joking. Those were probably his two most redeeming qualities. For now, he turns back to the bottle to pour himself just another swallow more.]
no subject
Certainly Diva isn't one who could help him, friend that he is, but he's finding there's others he could truly turn to. Wolf and Grayson topping that list and he's actually kind of excited about the chance to get to know himself especially. ]
I think you have a lot to offer Chris, and I'm glad you're in this helping me with so much. It means a lot to me. Thank you.