Oh no. Sorry. I'm not any kind of magic worker. The portals were a gift from a former love of mine. He started the Midnight Theatre here and was one of the most gifted witches and magic workers I've ever met here.
He chose them and installed them as a gift... and a laugh for him, but all of his portals in this town involve clowns. I wish now I had asked why. Other than he could be kind of twisted sometimes. Even the ones in his house had them.
I've come to realize that may be one of the more difficult parts of living in the city: being the one who remains while others leave.
It mirrors, in small part, one of the consequences of an immortal life.
[He doesn't think he needs to tell Kyle that this is what he's destined for now, too. It's not an unkindness he wants to inflict on him at this moment, either.]
I've been trying, with things here and the possibility of getting a long immortal life, to try and be thankful for what time I do get with them.
Since most of them I would have never known without this place.
[ And life back home has been a lot of time being a lonely outsider to those he cares about. ]
It's hard sometimes though to think of my life in terms of the immortality we have. Both because I'm not sure if we return home, or how long I will have here. I'm one of those that I know of that have been here the longest.
I understand that. You're also still young - vampirically-speaking.
I don't say that meaning to belittle you or diminish the life you have lived so far, but it does take time to sink in. It wasn't until I outlasted everyone I knew, and saw the surging and settling of two wars, before the true meaning of unnaturally old age began to set in.
This time you have now - where you're not yet separate from the ordinary flow of things, and the people around you - is a treasure, even if it may be an ephemeral one, in this place.
I didn't take it that way. I can't argue with you. While I've lost many here, it's all in a short time. There's only a handful who have been here longer than me but still only a few years. Yet I'm like an old man here.
I wish I think I'd have a chance of living that part in my own world, you know? Because this is so much different. It's like living a lifetime sometimes in the span of a few months. Feeling the need to hold on to a glimmer of more because... back home anyone can die but here it feels more urgent sometimes.
I wonder how that would be like you talk about, that flow I had known for nearly thirty years when I came here. Not the same as here.
Things do feel like they happen more quickly here. It makes everything all the more dire - emergencies, losses... But it brings people together more quickly, too. I've felt that, myself.
I wish I could say that describing it is enough to explain it, but it's deeply personal, and each immortal feels the weight of the years differently. You'll find out in time, whether you remain here, or return home as a vampire.
[The thought is a bittersweet one. He's used to Kyle being a reliable, and kind presence in his life. As much as leaving would return to the man, and he'd be grateful for that, he'd miss him.]
I think that's intentional on their part. They want us to bond so that we're less likely to act against them out for fear of others being hurt because of us.
Why I think the dominant submissive system is in place but then I have a lot of theories. Nothing I can ever prove though.
I may not be able to understand it, but if you ever need to talk about it? Know that I am always here for you.
That's no better or worse than any other theory I've heard. Odd and uncharacteristic of LIES to do us the kindness of offering us a means of connection, even if through a bizarre measure. [The bitter irony of it is oddly satisfying.]
It's appreciated. Truly.
To do it, I'd have to think about where to even begin. I haven't spoken to my own experience in so long that I don't know what younger people could actually hear in the way I mean to say it.
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no subject
So I take that to mean you didn't create them? Or choose to have them that way?
no subject
He started the Midnight Theatre here and was one of the most gifted witches and magic workers I've ever met here.
He chose them and installed them as a gift... and a laugh for him, but all of his portals in this town involve clowns.
I wish now I had asked why. Other than he could be kind of twisted sometimes. Even the ones in his house had them.
no subject
Was this Nate? You mention him a fair amount.
no subject
I miss a lot of people but they changed my life.
no subject
It mirrors, in small part, one of the consequences of an immortal life.
[He doesn't think he needs to tell Kyle that this is what he's destined for now, too. It's not an unkindness he wants to inflict on him at this moment, either.]
no subject
Since most of them I would have never known without this place.
[ And life back home has been a lot of time being a lonely outsider to those he cares about. ]
It's hard sometimes though to think of my life in terms of the immortality we have.
Both because I'm not sure if we return home, or how long I will have here.
I'm one of those that I know of that have been here the longest.
no subject
I don't say that meaning to belittle you or diminish the life you have lived so far, but it does take time to sink in. It wasn't until I outlasted everyone I knew, and saw the surging and settling of two wars, before the true meaning of unnaturally old age began to set in.
This time you have now - where you're not yet separate from the ordinary flow of things, and the people around you - is a treasure, even if it may be an ephemeral one, in this place.
no subject
I didn't take it that way. I can't argue with you. While I've lost many here, it's all in a short time.
There's only a handful who have been here longer than me but still only a few years. Yet I'm like an old man here.
I wish I think I'd have a chance of living that part in my own world, you know? Because this is so much different. It's like living a lifetime sometimes in the span of a few months. Feeling the need to hold on to a glimmer of more because... back home anyone can die but here it feels more urgent sometimes.
I wonder how that would be like you talk about, that flow I had known for nearly thirty years when I came here. Not the same as here.
no subject
I wish I could say that describing it is enough to explain it, but it's deeply personal, and each immortal feels the weight of the years differently. You'll find out in time, whether you remain here, or return home as a vampire.
[The thought is a bittersweet one. He's used to Kyle being a reliable, and kind presence in his life. As much as leaving would return to the man, and he'd be grateful for that, he'd miss him.]
no subject
Why I think the dominant submissive system is in place but then I have a lot of theories. Nothing I can ever prove though.
I may not be able to understand it, but if you ever need to talk about it? Know that I am always here for you.
no subject
It's appreciated. Truly.
To do it, I'd have to think about where to even begin. I haven't spoken to my own experience in so long that I don't know what younger people could actually hear in the way I mean to say it.