Normally Elijah might be chided over being called baby, but not tonight. Tonight he just sits there, legs pulled up, arms wrapped around him in a position he rarely ever find himself in with tears streaming down his face. He doesn't know exactly how or where to start. Instead he just reaches out and grabs hold of Kyle and wraps him in an impossibly tight embrace, forgetting for half a second that he has inhuman strength before relaxing enough so that his beloved can breathe and allowing the other hold him back.
"Hope... She couldn't help it. The truth." He paused, and bit his lip until it bled, trying to hold back the tears that choked his throat and threatened to overwhelm him, threatened to take the clear-headed, rational Elijah away.
"Dead. We're all dead. When she's from. Hayley. Klaus and I. We're all dead, and she doesn't want me to tell you, but I can't not, Kyle, how can I keep it from you, and then she said I betrayed the family before, with someone named Antoinette. I don't even know who that is, or why I would ever choose her over the family, but that must be why Hayley was so upset with me. I picked her over Hayley, and then Hayley dies, and for some reason Klaus and I kill ourselves, or each other, and are okay with leaving Hope. Just why Kyle, why would I ever do that?" The words pour out of Elijah in a massive messed up tumble, falling like the rain from his face, between sobs, and end on what sounds like a plea, because he can't believe at this stage in his life that he'd ever do anything like that, especially sitting here wrapped up like this, in the life that he's found.
For a moment Kyle isn't sure he's not going to end up with cracked ribs, and yet he doesn't fight it, doesn't say a word. The tears on the face of a man who has done all Elijah has is more painful than anything he could imagine. He just wants to do whatever he can to stop those tears, to fix whatever has gone wrong. And yet he suspects he won't be able to do that.
And he's right.
He knew about the truth telling, about the things he'd admitted to, and Elijah naming the man he loves and knowing that it means his family is likely to see that. They hadn't meant to talk about that but it's the least of their problems now, isn't it?
"Because somehow it meant saving your family." In his mind there is no doubt that must be it. "I don't know about this Antoinette." And he hates the feelings he has about that, about what if this is Elijah becoming involved with someone he'll regret later? Who like others probably think, is bad for him.
But it isn't the time for his worries, for his feelings that he doesn't deserve Elijah, all the things brought up by that bite that has him telling everyone he's not a good man.
"There's no other reason you would leave your family, Elijah, and from what you've told me, I can't imagine Klaus would either." He hugs him tighter, pressing his cheek to Elijah's to hid his own tears as best that he can.
He wants to ask a million questions, about when and how and what can they do but he knows. The same thing he's been thinking about since they fell in love. They don't leave here.
"No Kyle.." He pulls back a little and looks him in the eyes, trying to escape the worst of the sobs so that he can be serious enough for Kyle to understand exactly what Hope said.
"She said that Klaus and I chose to do it. That we were ready to.. That it was... fine How could I pick death over life? I know that life without Hayley at the time would be horrible, but I don't understand. Why would I pick to die? Why would Klaus die. I know I couldn't live without him. Not in any world could I ever live without him." And that's the truth, there. He said it aloud to Kyle because of the bite. It was the truth, even with Kyle and all they shared, Klaus was his brother, the one that he'd been tangled up in for a thousand years.
Maybe in another few years with Kyle, Elijah might make another choice, but for now, there was no life without his brother. He was intimate family, they shared things on another level that no one in this life or any other could ever understand. Elijah had literally lived for Klaus's redemption for as long as he could remember, and Kyle actually had to already know that-- sharing Elijah's memories as he did. It was a painful truth, and not one that he'd admitted before.
"Kyle, oh god, Kyle. I love you. Please, baby. I'm sorry. You know how much I love you, and I can't live without you either. You know that, right? Maybe it's good that I die when I go home, because I won't have to live without you." Elijah's tears still run down his face, but he's stopped sobbing for now. Just exhausted from too many truths. He's got far too many years of them, and they are all terrible it seems.
In Kyle's mind it would make sense that they would offer themselves for their family, die protecting them. But what he's saying she said is different. He can't imagine the man he knows choosing to die. Even before they met, but he wants to believe that now he certainly wouldn't make that choice. Except in not knowing why he had, how can he be sure he wouldn't make that decision again?
Especially because there's one thing that could mean that all their vows, their promises, their love won't be enough.
"And if he goes back to your world, what happens then?" He winces, tensing and nearly pulling away because it's wrong of him to ask that. Even if he can't help himself, it's horrible and rude to say that to him. Now when he's dealing with all of this. "Don't worry about it, Elijah. Don't answer that. I understand. I really do."
And he does. They've known one another weeks. They have a month of amazing sex and whispered vows and desperate devotion but what does that compare to blood? What does that compare to a thousand years together. Always and Forever. No matter how much it hurts, how cracked and broken he feels, he does understand and he knows Elijah knows it's the truth.
And he hates in all that pain, all those words of love and apology, there is a question. One he can't not answer truthfully.
"I know you love me," he promises him, stroking his hair back gently, using the pad of his thumb to gather some of the tears from his cheek, trying to soothe him, to calm him and offer what all he can give him. Even as his heart shatters like a windshield at that last statement. Whole but broken into a thousand pieces. It's not like they aren't things he hadn't thought about all ready.
"I know they're your blood and your life, Elijah. It's okay. You don't have to apologize. I've never asked you to chose me over them and I never will. I won't do that to either of us," he says, knowing now more than ever that he thinks he knows the truth of what he'd choose.
"I love you, Elijah. With every fiber of my being, I love you. Whatever we have here, for as long as it lasts, it's enough. Do you think after everything I saw that I didn't know they come first? They're your family. I know that."
It takes Elijah a little time to calm down. There is so much coming at him all at once, and Kyle's question hits him like a ton of bricks. It just smacks him across his face and makes him really think. There are words immediately on his tongue, but he doesn't say them yet, because he wants to make sure that the promise is true-- but then he realizes that right now he can't lie.
Wiping his tears on Kyle's shirt, he turned and pressed a kiss to his lover's neck, and held him close as possible, wishing that they weren't wearing clothes suddenly so that they might be even closer. Skin to skin was an amazing intimacy that Elijah had recently grown accustomed to enjoying in this bed.
"Kyle," He whispered, barely breathing, because what was breath. Truth falling from his lips because it had to. They weren't texting anymore, and closer now it was nigh to impossible to keep anything from the man that he loved so dearly, not that Elijah had ever planned on it.
"Kyle..." He whispered again, and caressed his fingers down Kyle's chest, curling in the fabric of his shirt. "if he left, I would stay here. I meant what I said when I said I don't want to leave here. Even if everyone left- as long as you were here, it would be my home. You are my family, you are my home now. I know this. I have waited a thousand years for you and I will not give you up for any reason, not even Niklaus. I love him, and may have chosen to die with him in my world, but I'm not that person any longer. You wear my ring, and I wear yours."
A few tears ran down Elijah's face as he realized another truth. "I don't want to live at home, if I don't have you, so maybe it's better that I die." He barely said the words, not even sure if Kyle heard them, as horrible as they were, he couldn't deny them.
Elijah swallowed hard, and finally lifted his head to look at Kyle, scared of what he would see for some strange reason. "You don't have to ask me to choose, because I already did. The day I put the ring on your finger, the day I called you soulmate. I chose you Kyle Valenti. Body, Blood, and Soul, I chose you as mine."
Kyle holds him close through it all, even with the pain he feels. For Elijah. For himself. But his attention and his care is on Elijah. Stroking his back, along his arms, knowing he's going through shock and doing what he can to try and help him stay steady. So he touches him to ground him here, listening as best he can and offering the knowledge that he's there. No matter how much things hurt. He's there for Elijah and that's what matters.
His words are like a balm for his soul, helping to calm him, to make it feel like something inside of him is healing, bonded by gold and stronger than before even if he can feel the fear in his bones. The night has rattled him on so many levels but his pain isn't important right now. Elijah's is.
"I want to stay here with you," he whispers, knowing this means that he might well end up working against his friends. Tim and Alex are both working so hard to destroy this place and take it down and send everyone home. Either Kyle can take Elijah with him, especially learning what they have now, or they stay here. He isn't letting Elijah go back to that life. Ever.
"You are my life, Elijah," he whispers, kissing his brow, his cheek, letting what remains of the tears stain his lips. "And no. I can't. I don't want you to go back. Not ever." Even if he knows one day he'll leave Elijah. How could he want to think about him going back to die?
Staring back into Elijah's eyes, nervous still but also so in love with him, wanting to offer him everything he can.
"We have a home here, Elijah. This is our home, our life. You are mine, okay? No matter what happens, what others thinks, you're mine. I will defend that to everyone. I'm willing to do whatever I have to so I can be with you."
Blowing out another shaky breath he just hides himself in the hollow of his lover's embrace. There is nothing here, nothing on any planet, in any dimension that could ever force Elijah to leave Kyle. He will fight tooth and nail to keep what they have, and he will kill if he has to. Tonight though, tonight Elijah is just tired. He's had more truth pulled out of him than he's ever shared before in a thousand years of truth. Never has he been more honest with a world around him, than tonight and it's impossibly frightening to a vampire who has spent a lifetime building walls to protect himself.
"You are my home. You are my life. Body, blood, and soul. Forever." He says the last part of that a few times, like a little mantra of himself to keep him sane as he begins to review his conversation with Hayley, the worst part of the night itself. First he learned of his death, and then he learned the truth that she had been hiding. He felt so unworthy, and just really didn't want to go home to live more than anything, because he was the most unworthy soul. She was right, he broke his vow to her here-- not that he'd change what had happened. How could he when he had Kyle now. But, it made him so much less of the man he had always wanted to be.
Elijah never wanted to see that little truth thing again. It had all but ruined his life today, it had taken his happiness here, and his little honeymoon that he'd been enjoying and ripped it away. It had jammed him right back into his life in New Orleans with all the devilish creatures and truths he had to face about himself.
"I... I tried to kill Hayley. She's my wife, Kyle, and I abandoned her for you. I love you so much that I abandoned my wife. She said that I abandoned her there too. That I left my family, and ran off with another woman, left everyone behind. That I didn't even pick her in my mind. That I ran behind my red door and shut off the world and lived there, and tried to kill her in there. I can't... Kyle. I am a monster. How can you love me?" He blinks, looking at the one he loves more than anything. Pleading his life, and knowing that Kyle will still love him, even though Elijah is having a difficult time loving himself right now.
It's not been centuries, but for Kyle it's still been his lifetime that he's ached to have someone he loves this much. He'll take every moment he has for him, and that means all of the bad with the good. It means being here for him when he's hurting, and when he's coping with their love, and his life, and all he's been through and will likely still go through. He'll do whatever he has to, even as this talk sends those ripples of fear through his gut.
Yet he keeps trying to hold onto those words. "Body, blood, and soul," he whispers softly, needing to hold on to that, to know that he will be there with him. Forever. Or as long as their forever is.
It makes him wince still. Kyle has never been to their world, he barely know Hayley as the best friend to his once upon a time best friend, and yet so many things come back to killing Hayley. And now to Elijah leaving those he loves. Could he leave Kyle? He knows he could. He could leave this place and he'd have no way to follow him. He could chose someone else. Except he can't lie, and he's said it. Home. Life. Forever.
Kyle carefully pulls back so that he can cup Elijah's face in both hands. Cradling his cheekbones so carefully, staring into those beautiful eyes and that strong face.
"I love you, Elijah. I've loved you since before I knew you," he says softly, staring into his eyes still. "I don't know what's going to happen. With this place, with our homes, with who we are and what we've done. What I do know?" He rests his brow to Elijah's. "Is that you're mine, Elijah Mikaelson. I don't expect our life to be easy, but I expect us to get through it. Whatever it takes. Just so long as even when we haven't been bit by little beasts, we're still honest with one another."
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"Hope... She couldn't help it. The truth." He paused, and bit his lip until it bled, trying to hold back the tears that choked his throat and threatened to overwhelm him, threatened to take the clear-headed, rational Elijah away.
"Dead. We're all dead. When she's from. Hayley. Klaus and I. We're all dead, and she doesn't want me to tell you, but I can't not, Kyle, how can I keep it from you, and then she said I betrayed the family before, with someone named Antoinette. I don't even know who that is, or why I would ever choose her over the family, but that must be why Hayley was so upset with me. I picked her over Hayley, and then Hayley dies, and for some reason Klaus and I kill ourselves, or each other, and are okay with leaving Hope. Just why Kyle, why would I ever do that?" The words pour out of Elijah in a massive messed up tumble, falling like the rain from his face, between sobs, and end on what sounds like a plea, because he can't believe at this stage in his life that he'd ever do anything like that, especially sitting here wrapped up like this, in the life that he's found.
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And he's right.
He knew about the truth telling, about the things he'd admitted to, and Elijah naming the man he loves and knowing that it means his family is likely to see that. They hadn't meant to talk about that but it's the least of their problems now, isn't it?
"Because somehow it meant saving your family." In his mind there is no doubt that must be it. "I don't know about this Antoinette." And he hates the feelings he has about that, about what if this is Elijah becoming involved with someone he'll regret later? Who like others probably think, is bad for him.
But it isn't the time for his worries, for his feelings that he doesn't deserve Elijah, all the things brought up by that bite that has him telling everyone he's not a good man.
"There's no other reason you would leave your family, Elijah, and from what you've told me, I can't imagine Klaus would either." He hugs him tighter, pressing his cheek to Elijah's to hid his own tears as best that he can.
He wants to ask a million questions, about when and how and what can they do but he knows. The same thing he's been thinking about since they fell in love. They don't leave here.
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"She said that Klaus and I chose to do it. That we were ready to.. That it was... fine How could I pick death over life? I know that life without Hayley at the time would be horrible, but I don't understand. Why would I pick to die? Why would Klaus die. I know I couldn't live without him. Not in any world could I ever live without him." And that's the truth, there. He said it aloud to Kyle because of the bite. It was the truth, even with Kyle and all they shared, Klaus was his brother, the one that he'd been tangled up in for a thousand years.
Maybe in another few years with Kyle, Elijah might make another choice, but for now, there was no life without his brother. He was intimate family, they shared things on another level that no one in this life or any other could ever understand. Elijah had literally lived for Klaus's redemption for as long as he could remember, and Kyle actually had to already know that-- sharing Elijah's memories as he did. It was a painful truth, and not one that he'd admitted before.
"Kyle, oh god, Kyle. I love you. Please, baby. I'm sorry. You know how much I love you, and I can't live without you either. You know that, right? Maybe it's good that I die when I go home, because I won't have to live without you." Elijah's tears still run down his face, but he's stopped sobbing for now. Just exhausted from too many truths. He's got far too many years of them, and they are all terrible it seems.
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Especially because there's one thing that could mean that all their vows, their promises, their love won't be enough.
"And if he goes back to your world, what happens then?" He winces, tensing and nearly pulling away because it's wrong of him to ask that. Even if he can't help himself, it's horrible and rude to say that to him. Now when he's dealing with all of this. "Don't worry about it, Elijah. Don't answer that. I understand. I really do."
And he does. They've known one another weeks. They have a month of amazing sex and whispered vows and desperate devotion but what does that compare to blood? What does that compare to a thousand years together. Always and Forever. No matter how much it hurts, how cracked and broken he feels, he does understand and he knows Elijah knows it's the truth.
And he hates in all that pain, all those words of love and apology, there is a question. One he can't not answer truthfully.
"I know you love me," he promises him, stroking his hair back gently, using the pad of his thumb to gather some of the tears from his cheek, trying to soothe him, to calm him and offer what all he can give him. Even as his heart shatters like a windshield at that last statement. Whole but broken into a thousand pieces. It's not like they aren't things he hadn't thought about all ready.
"I know they're your blood and your life, Elijah. It's okay. You don't have to apologize. I've never asked you to chose me over them and I never will. I won't do that to either of us," he says, knowing now more than ever that he thinks he knows the truth of what he'd choose.
"I love you, Elijah. With every fiber of my being, I love you. Whatever we have here, for as long as it lasts, it's enough. Do you think after everything I saw that I didn't know they come first? They're your family. I know that."
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Wiping his tears on Kyle's shirt, he turned and pressed a kiss to his lover's neck, and held him close as possible, wishing that they weren't wearing clothes suddenly so that they might be even closer. Skin to skin was an amazing intimacy that Elijah had recently grown accustomed to enjoying in this bed.
"Kyle," He whispered, barely breathing, because what was breath. Truth falling from his lips because it had to. They weren't texting anymore, and closer now it was nigh to impossible to keep anything from the man that he loved so dearly, not that Elijah had ever planned on it.
"Kyle..." He whispered again, and caressed his fingers down Kyle's chest, curling in the fabric of his shirt. "if he left, I would stay here. I meant what I said when I said I don't want to leave here. Even if everyone left- as long as you were here, it would be my home. You are my family, you are my home now. I know this. I have waited a thousand years for you and I will not give you up for any reason, not even Niklaus. I love him, and may have chosen to die with him in my world, but I'm not that person any longer. You wear my ring, and I wear yours."
A few tears ran down Elijah's face as he realized another truth. "I don't want to live at home, if I don't have you, so maybe it's better that I die." He barely said the words, not even sure if Kyle heard them, as horrible as they were, he couldn't deny them.
Elijah swallowed hard, and finally lifted his head to look at Kyle, scared of what he would see for some strange reason. "You don't have to ask me to choose, because I already did. The day I put the ring on your finger, the day I called you soulmate. I chose you Kyle Valenti. Body, Blood, and Soul, I chose you as mine."
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His words are like a balm for his soul, helping to calm him, to make it feel like something inside of him is healing, bonded by gold and stronger than before even if he can feel the fear in his bones. The night has rattled him on so many levels but his pain isn't important right now. Elijah's is.
"I want to stay here with you," he whispers, knowing this means that he might well end up working against his friends. Tim and Alex are both working so hard to destroy this place and take it down and send everyone home. Either Kyle can take Elijah with him, especially learning what they have now, or they stay here. He isn't letting Elijah go back to that life. Ever.
"You are my life, Elijah," he whispers, kissing his brow, his cheek, letting what remains of the tears stain his lips. "And no. I can't. I don't want you to go back. Not ever." Even if he knows one day he'll leave Elijah. How could he want to think about him going back to die?
Staring back into Elijah's eyes, nervous still but also so in love with him, wanting to offer him everything he can.
"We have a home here, Elijah. This is our home, our life. You are mine, okay? No matter what happens, what others thinks, you're mine. I will defend that to everyone. I'm willing to do whatever I have to so I can be with you."
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"You are my home. You are my life. Body, blood, and soul. Forever." He says the last part of that a few times, like a little mantra of himself to keep him sane as he begins to review his conversation with Hayley, the worst part of the night itself. First he learned of his death, and then he learned the truth that she had been hiding. He felt so unworthy, and just really didn't want to go home to live more than anything, because he was the most unworthy soul. She was right, he broke his vow to her here-- not that he'd change what had happened. How could he when he had Kyle now. But, it made him so much less of the man he had always wanted to be.
Elijah never wanted to see that little truth thing again. It had all but ruined his life today, it had taken his happiness here, and his little honeymoon that he'd been enjoying and ripped it away. It had jammed him right back into his life in New Orleans with all the devilish creatures and truths he had to face about himself.
"I... I tried to kill Hayley. She's my wife, Kyle, and I abandoned her for you. I love you so much that I abandoned my wife. She said that I abandoned her there too. That I left my family, and ran off with another woman, left everyone behind. That I didn't even pick her in my mind. That I ran behind my red door and shut off the world and lived there, and tried to kill her in there. I can't... Kyle. I am a monster. How can you love me?" He blinks, looking at the one he loves more than anything. Pleading his life, and knowing that Kyle will still love him, even though Elijah is having a difficult time loving himself right now.
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Yet he keeps trying to hold onto those words. "Body, blood, and soul," he whispers softly, needing to hold on to that, to know that he will be there with him. Forever. Or as long as their forever is.
It makes him wince still. Kyle has never been to their world, he barely know Hayley as the best friend to his once upon a time best friend, and yet so many things come back to killing Hayley. And now to Elijah leaving those he loves. Could he leave Kyle? He knows he could. He could leave this place and he'd have no way to follow him. He could chose someone else. Except he can't lie, and he's said it. Home. Life. Forever.
Kyle carefully pulls back so that he can cup Elijah's face in both hands. Cradling his cheekbones so carefully, staring into those beautiful eyes and that strong face.
"I love you, Elijah. I've loved you since before I knew you," he says softly, staring into his eyes still. "I don't know what's going to happen. With this place, with our homes, with who we are and what we've done. What I do know?" He rests his brow to Elijah's. "Is that you're mine, Elijah Mikaelson. I don't expect our life to be easy, but I expect us to get through it. Whatever it takes. Just so long as even when we haven't been bit by little beasts, we're still honest with one another."