It depends, I suppose, on what led you to that decision. I often wonder myself whether I would have been able to make any other choice, even knowing everything that would happen. I truly don't know.
It was entirely fair, yes. The entire interview was tape recorded... if there is any editorializing, it is merely to describe what it is like to see a vampire through human eyes.
... Probably wouldn't have changed things, unless it was before that moment. By then I cared too much and was too devoted. I wouldn't have chosen otherwise.
And I believe that I had made my choice before I even knew that there was any choice to make. At least we're the same breed of fool in that way.
How to put it? That boy saw me in the same way that many mortals imagine our kind: possibility made flesh. I wanted him to recognize me for the monster that I was, but in that task I failed miserably.
I came to it willingly. I was near death at the time - I thought I wanted that - and Lestat came to me and offered this eternal life instead.
A reason? I'm certain the boy thought he could do it all better than I had. That he could learn from my mistakes and not repeat my tragedies, and that the toll it took on me would never burden him.
A person does have to die to become what we are. It makes sense that it would be a thing done out of desperation and questionable judgment.
I found out much later that he was indeed turned, though it was not done by me. I left him next to death that night to show him what I was and he still was not deterred.
My intention was to attack him, rather than to feed upon him for my own satisfaction. I suspect that is the reason why he lived, as I have only recently had any success with purposeful feeding.
Then at the very least it was unthinking evil, done in service of my own misery. I didn't think of him at all when I used him as my makeshift confessional... I never even asked the boy his name. He would have gone on living his life never knowing that he shared the world with things like me.
And I went on to kill again, just as I always had.
I've witnessed a 1000 years of horror in a moment. I may be young, but I also know that with enough time we have to learn to accept who we can be more than who we've been.
Thank you though. It's the one thing I really hope to always be.
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It was entirely fair, yes. The entire interview was tape recorded... if there is any editorializing, it is merely to describe what it is like to see a vampire through human eyes.
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How did he see you?
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How to put it? That boy saw me in the same way that many mortals imagine our kind: possibility made flesh. I wanted him to recognize me for the monster that I was, but in that task I failed miserably.
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Least we're not in it alone.
Did you ever think that perhaps there's a reason for that?
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A reason? I'm certain the boy thought he could do it all better than I had. That he could learn from my mistakes and not repeat my tragedies, and that the toll it took on me would never burden him.
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Was he made a vampire?
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I found out much later that he was indeed turned, though it was not done by me. I left him next to death that night to show him what I was and he still was not deterred.
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I saw a 1000 years of murder and pain and destruction and I still did it. No matter what you tried, you couldn't stop it.
But you're saying you didn't kill him. You can harm and not kill then?
[ It was something they have talked about, and something that he wants to be able to help him with. ]
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And I went on to kill again, just as I always had.
You shouldn't be so quick to absolve me.
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Thank you though. It's the one thing I really hope to always be.