That sounds like pure hell. My first nights as a fledgling — my first months, really — were overwhelming in a way that no mortal experience could have prepared me for. To have your sire take advantage of your heart and mind during that time... God, I'm so sorry that happened to you.
Claudia is doing well, I think, at least as much as any of us can be said to be doing well here. In many ways, she is afforded more freedoms in Duplicity than she ever would have been in our world.
Only in looking back on it. I truly believed it was the best for me at the time. I knew from the memories that it was easier for me than for others, but I hadn't realized exactly why. Not how much control there was being exerted over me. At least until it wasn't there.
Thank you. I appreciate it. I'm doing so much better now though.
I've noticed it's that way for many. It's why I want others to have a say in where they live, but also just not send everyone back to their own worlds.
I'm so sorry, Louis. I'm glad you guys have here then.
That's a hard question. There was a time, with my ex, I knew I would stay here with him. He was dead back home. Now, I don't know. I care deeply about someone who isn't from my world and my best friend is from my world but far as we know, I would be the only vampire.
It seems inevitable that we'll be pulled in different directions the longer we stay here, and the more people we come to care about. How would you feel about that? Being the only vampire?
Inevitable maybe but there's also the possiblity maybe one day of being able to either make this place better, or to return with others to their homes. If I had the same people there that I do here? I'd be okay with that I think. Never had to do it though so I can't be sure.
I understand that. It was a shock coming here and realizing that it didn't matter at all!
I had to be very cautious, especially during the years that I was on my own. I went almost two centuries without ever revealing my true nature to a mortal. But as time went on, and vampires became ever more a thing of film and fiction, it was easy enough to hide in plain sight.
I don't exactly know what I expected to come of it. I met a young reporter in a bar one night, and when he asked me what I did for a living, I told him what I was. It was really just a whim, letting him interview me. Borne of loneliness, perhaps, or recklessness, or a combination of the two.
I meant it as a cautionary tale, but of course he was enchanted. We parted on poor terms that night, and I did not expect I would see him again.
( louis had left him for dead, really. )
I was rather surprised when a year or so later I saw his account of the night had made the bestseller list.
It depends, I suppose, on what led you to that decision. I often wonder myself whether I would have been able to make any other choice, even knowing everything that would happen. I truly don't know.
It was entirely fair, yes. The entire interview was tape recorded... if there is any editorializing, it is merely to describe what it is like to see a vampire through human eyes.
... Probably wouldn't have changed things, unless it was before that moment. By then I cared too much and was too devoted. I wouldn't have chosen otherwise.
And I believe that I had made my choice before I even knew that there was any choice to make. At least we're the same breed of fool in that way.
How to put it? That boy saw me in the same way that many mortals imagine our kind: possibility made flesh. I wanted him to recognize me for the monster that I was, but in that task I failed miserably.
I came to it willingly. I was near death at the time - I thought I wanted that - and Lestat came to me and offered this eternal life instead.
A reason? I'm certain the boy thought he could do it all better than I had. That he could learn from my mistakes and not repeat my tragedies, and that the toll it took on me would never burden him.
A person does have to die to become what we are. It makes sense that it would be a thing done out of desperation and questionable judgment.
I found out much later that he was indeed turned, though it was not done by me. I left him next to death that night to show him what I was and he still was not deterred.
My intention was to attack him, rather than to feed upon him for my own satisfaction. I suspect that is the reason why he lived, as I have only recently had any success with purposeful feeding.
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It may have changed hands in the intervening time... My daughter, Claudia, co-owns it now.
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Oh. I hadn't realized. Both in the ownership and your child being here. Is she doing well here?
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Claudia is doing well, I think, at least as much as any of us can be said to be doing well here. In many ways, she is afforded more freedoms in Duplicity than she ever would have been in our world.
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Thank you. I appreciate it. I'm doing so much better now though.
I've noticed it's that way for many. It's why I want others to have a say in where they live, but also just not send everyone back to their own worlds.
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Where would you go, if you could? Your own home, or somewhere else?
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That's a hard question. There was a time, with my ex, I knew I would stay here with him. He was dead back home. Now, I don't know. I care deeply about someone who isn't from my world and my best friend is from my world but far as we know, I would be the only vampire.
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How would you feel about that? Being the only vampire?
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If I had the same people there that I do here? I'd be okay with that I think. Never had to do it though so I can't be sure.
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I had to be very cautious, especially during the years that I was on my own. I went almost two centuries without ever revealing my true nature to a mortal. But as time went on, and vampires became ever more a thing of film and fiction, it was easy enough to hide in plain sight.
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I never got the movies. Not until I met one. It's still odd thinking that I may live that long.
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I guess that isn't a horrible idea of ways to be part of things despite it all.
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I meant it as a cautionary tale, but of course he was enchanted. We parted on poor terms that night, and I did not expect I would see him again.
( louis had left him for dead, really. )
I was rather surprised when a year or so later I saw his account of the night had made the bestseller list.
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Did they do you justice and be fair about the things you told them?
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It was entirely fair, yes. The entire interview was tape recorded... if there is any editorializing, it is merely to describe what it is like to see a vampire through human eyes.
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How did he see you?
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How to put it? That boy saw me in the same way that many mortals imagine our kind: possibility made flesh. I wanted him to recognize me for the monster that I was, but in that task I failed miserably.
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Least we're not in it alone.
Did you ever think that perhaps there's a reason for that?
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A reason? I'm certain the boy thought he could do it all better than I had. That he could learn from my mistakes and not repeat my tragedies, and that the toll it took on me would never burden him.
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Was he made a vampire?
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I found out much later that he was indeed turned, though it was not done by me. I left him next to death that night to show him what I was and he still was not deterred.
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I saw a 1000 years of murder and pain and destruction and I still did it. No matter what you tried, you couldn't stop it.
But you're saying you didn't kill him. You can harm and not kill then?
[ It was something they have talked about, and something that he wants to be able to help him with. ]
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